December 22, 2017 -- North Pole, Earth, Milky Way -- Santa, Inc., today disclosed plans for an initial coin offering (ICO) for a new cryptocurrency, GiftCoin. GiftCoin will enable parents to more seamlessly execute the purchase of gifts for children who have established a meaningful and consistent level of good for the trailing 12-months.
Proceeds from the offering will be used primarily to fund expansion of SleighChain, a proprietary blockchain platform for collecting and storing data on every child and adolescent believing in Santa Claus, and the buildout of Santa, Inc.'s Artificial Intelligence system for predicting who will be naughty or nice and which gifts each child will request three quarters in advance of December 25th.
"We are embracing new technologies to improve our supply chain, allow for the production of games and toys to begin much earlier in the year, eliminate late-season inventory depletion to avoid the "Cabbage Patch" effect, and achieve gains in worker productivity," said Kris Kringle, Ph.D., President and CEO of Santa, Inc. "The elf-based workforce has been predominantly seasonal and we will now be able to spread their labor time over multiple months, reducing workplace injuries, resulting in substantially reduced healthcare premiums."
Ahead of the implementation of AI gift prediction functionality, Santa, Inc., will develop tablet-based apps as a replacement for hand-written letters, which the Company will no longer accept after December 24, 2018. This is expected to have a favorable environmental impact of $4 billion starting in 2019 and growing to a peak of $8.5 billion by 2025. The app will emulate the tactile feel and experience of traditional letter writing while avoiding the cost of paper and ink production and their respective adverse environmental impact.
In response to the U.S. tax legislation passed earlier this week, Santa, Inc. is suspending its planned corporate inversion. Additionally, the Company will pay the previously planned, annual $1,000 bonus to more than 100,000 of our 500,000 elves on December 26th in response to the U.S. tax legislation. Further, Santa, Inc., will continue to provide salary and benefits to its full-time employees, which constitutes 25% of the workforce.
About Santa, Inc.
Santa, Inc, is a U.S.-incorporated entity specializing in the manufacturing and delivery of Christmas and work-party related gifts aThe Company was founded in the hearts, minds, and imaginations of Children many centuries ago and has endured wars, technological revolutions, family politics as well as bad and not so bad turkey dinners, sweaters, tears, smiles, and joy. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to the World from Reportable, Inc., and may there truly be peace in the world, our resourceful and innovative country, and among our combative politicians.
